girlady

Break

2008-08-09T07:08:00.002+08:00

Finally, I remembered the tears you have being enduring.
Slowly but surely I heard it.
Will it led to compromise or agrument?

August Roaring

2008-08-08T06:04:00.003+08:00

Well, well, well... My August had started with a blast!
*RoarZzzzz!!!* Lol! Listen to The Leo Girl!

01.08.08 - Pre - Bday celebration

Darling Jeslyn treated me to a lovely Japanese dinner at Suntec Convention Ctr's Food Republic. The Chef was one of her friend. Fantastic food! Ohhh~ Its the best outta all the ones we been too. Sheesh! Im drooling from the memory of it lar... *Craving* Up next, we went to meet up with her friends and went to this "Novena Pub". Haha~ Forgot the name of the pub! Sheesh! It had nothing to do with all the drinking ... Simply I have this condition known as STM (short-term-memory).

Anyway, Gernice was supposed to meet us during dinner. BUT! This smarty pants smsed me earlier on that she had exam the next day so must fly me aeroplane. BEST! Still can bombard me with her "chim-ology ang mog" smses to double? triple?? confirm the date. Humph! Guess she suddenly liang-xin-fa-xie so joined us at the pub later on.

The celebration is weird... One of Jeslyn's guy friend is under a quarter-life crisis. I do not know what is going on as no one dares to mention to me. Anyway, he was all broody and dark mood. Always sulking in a corner, probably crying. His friends (the group) feared for his safety (I assume) went to comfort him, so I was left alone most of the time.

Thank goodness! Raymond still bothers to entertain me as and when he could afford me the luxury of his time. Lol! He's a joker lar! Gernice came after we sang the song and cake and I left home shortly after. Seriously, I really appreciate what Jeslyn had planned for me. But you know, the after-taste of this thing is really kinda awkward and uncomfortable. Brrr!

02.08.08 - The Day

I almost canceled the dinner with darling. I know its just a dinner with him & his parents. No! Don't get me wrong! I love his parents. But its totally strange... to celebrate birthday with family. Yeah! Its the family/relatives gathering thingy that Im seriously not familiar with. It scares the shit outta me.

Anyway, darling whip out a delicious meal of clam chowder and garlic prawn angel hair pasta! Yummy!!! I must confess that he is a way better cook than me! ROFL! To be outright honest, he cooks for me more than the nos of instant noodles I prepared for him. *Blush*

We ended the cozy affair with PRESENTS!!! Wow!!! I got a lovely stylish piece of statement watch from DKNY! Hee~ the latest model to boot from dardar! Plus, Edwin's mummy gave me a pearl necklace with sparking diamonds! =)

Aww! I love my newly possessions. They are better than any dessert or cake! Yup! I told darling "No! Birthday Cake is NOT ALLOWED!!!!" Haha~

Gosh! Shall post bigger news later on! And I mean it! IT WAS ON THE FREAKING HEADLINES ON THE STRAITS TIMES. For now, I just want my bed! *Meow*

Love is

2008-07-13T04:29:00.001+08:00

Love is handling the other party weapons to hurt you but believing that they will not do it.

Words are cheap... Are they?

2008-07-13T02:59:00.002+08:00

Words are cheap... Are they really so?
Im sick of it, tired of being "verbally abused".
People labelling you as dim witted or slow.
Why cant they just understand that I am not their kind?
That sometimes I just cannot be bothered to retort.
I rather act like whatever nonsense they utter to my face,
simply cannot be register into my mind.
Hiding the hurt in my miserable heart.
Its not that I am ultra fragile and sensitive.
But its because I viewed you as someone I love and care,
thats why I shut my crap up.
Because I cannot trust myself for not "killing" you.
I will just bottle it up till one fine day, I will become an angry bitch.
Biting your head off... Not.

Rashes

2008-04-17T16:50:00.002+08:00

Got a break from work temporarily... my skin allegy led my body to erupt into rashes less than an hr yesterday. Tried to torelate the insane pain and itch but when my body was covered with bumps and with my findertips and lip numbing, I knew I had to sought medical help FAST!

Thank goodness! For once, I was able to flag down a cab within five minutes at Bukit Merah. Rushed to my family clinic and was told 3 patients was in front of me. That meant a wait of 45 mins complete with swearing & cursing under my breath that would make an Ah-Beng blush!

I trust the doctor but the reception counter was a complete idiot! I remembered when I was a kid, I was pushed from the monkey bar to the ground by a kid. With blood gushing from my forehead, those pea-brained reception ladies ask mum to wait at one of the chair for our turn.

Luckily, the waiting patients were already asking the reception to let us in first. "She is just a kid!", said one of the aunties. Gosh! I wished I had the luck last night! Damn! Anyway I decided to store the clinic number in my handphone so I could book an appointment beforehand.

First thing I went into the doctor, I asked for a jab! Haha~ friends who knew me know that I am a wimp of the needle. Yucks! The needle sure hurts when she inserted it on my right cheeck butt! However, it is worth it!

Doc told me the jab will be in effect with an hour, apparently she is so so so wrong. Less than ten minutes, I turned whoozy and completely KO. I am lucky that dardar was beside throughout the ordeal. *Muacks*

On the road to recovery, but my body is still not functioning as well as I want it to. Haiz~

2008-03-19T08:42:00.003+08:00

The minute we closed the car door, bro managed to kill one commando mosquito immediately.

And I was being kept occupied for quite sometime, so that the driver...

Could drive happily!!! =)

Stairway to heaven

2008-03-14T04:37:00.001+08:00

Dear Kasper,

Usually people will start off with, "Hi!" or "How are you?"... etc. But I do not have to as I know perfectly well that the place you are staying is good. Maybe good is an understatement... Gosh! Somehow words failed me, I simply cannot find a single adjective to describe.

But I call that place, Stairway To Heaven... guarded by The Angel, Leng with her two domestic fairies. As it is very near to Heaven, it is a wonderful place too. Filled with friends like love, care and concern. No bad stuff could happen there at all. It's illegal.

My old boy, I love you so much... And Im so sorry that I cannot keep you with me. Although I am happy that you finally found such a nice place, a part of me is filled with sorrow. I miss you badly... You are the most wonderful friend that a Man could ever wish for.

Stay well and safe. I will try to visit you as much as possible. Hope to see you soon.

Love You Lots,

Jean

2008-01-07T02:43:00.000+08:00

MY-NO-HOLDS-BARRED- LOWDOWN-REVIEW

A Brief Introduction

A slim entertainment powerhouse, at just 7.9mm-thick and weighing only 43g, the T10 combines a music & video player, photo album, datacast, voice recorder, text viewer, file browser and bluetooth in one small device.

The awesome package includes:
1. YP-T10 mp3 player
2. Earphone
3. Earphone "jacket" - those black cushion thingy that protects your earpiece from eating dust
4. USB cable
5. A manual booklet
6. A software
7. The good quality plastic package is a keeper! Rox!!!

First Impression Aka Love @ First Sight

Aesthetically the Samsung YP-T10 is a killer in this department. Its glossy black surface teamed with the touch screen function won me over as soon as I laid my eyes on this slim and sleek beauty. The on-or-off and lock button conveniently sits on the side of the player without protruding. Being practically weightless, it allows me to slip it into any of my tiny clutches easily.

I personally love the black matte finish on the back which is so practical at keeping scratches at bay. It’s wonderful of Samsung to install the screen protector. Though the con side is that this baby demands “polishing off the fingerprints” ever so often. I also appreciate the slanted top of the player as it allows girls with long nails like mine to pick it up easily.

‘Sammy’ the mascot, adds vigor to the colorful animated screen. I simply adore him to bits and pieces! There are of course other skins to choose from or you may wish to use your own photo as the wallpaper. Now everyone is bound to be satisfied!

The T10 used a touchpad which thankfully does not comes in a “rotating” feature like ipod Nano which I am a complete idiot at. Due to its sensitivity, I often changed tracks without meaning to. The “Hold” button should be called "Hot" button as I used it more often than any other keys!

MUSIC : As I am a Macbook user, I have problems downloading the software which is compatible only with Windows XP or Vista. But thankfully, it accepts itunes and the transfer was a breeze. My library was not messed up either. *Amen*

Sound quality was definitely better than average. I am quite surprised that the EQ was that awesome. I enjoyed goofing around with the eleven types of DNSe. My favourite is Rock! You can tell that the bass and drums are up by a few notches blasting away... ME!

I also get to pick three different types of "Dancing Sammy" to grace the music play screen. Check out the video below!

Gosh! I will never get tired of him bouncing up and down on the screen! (^^)

VIDEOS : I did not have a chance to upload any videos of mine yet. But I did watched the trailers (WMV format) that was in the player. The images were crystal clear and sound quality rocks, definitely cinema quality except the 2"nifty screen. Heck! I am not complaining much.

PICTURES : I uploaded 15 pictures in JPEG format. There are 15 other skins preloaded. My rant would be that the speed of slideshow is awfully slow. Even when I select "Fast" for the slideshow speed.

Well, at least the quality was not compromised as I could see my swollen pimple clearly without even zooming it. Darts! Should have photoshop it. Also you could play music at the same time, zoom the pictures (100%, 200% & 400%) or rotate it.

FM RADIO : The auto preset automatically search for the stations, thats what I called hassle free! There is a cool feature, FM Region, there are three options 1. Korea/US 2. Japan 3.Other Countries. Wow! Hopefully, I get to travel soon so I could test this out. Haha~ Maybe just cross the bridge to Johor Bahru, Malaysia.

I am rather amazed with this feature, Start Recording. Though this is a tad old school where people used to get walkman (bulky player using cassette tapes to record songs), I feel that this is a nice addition.

However, the FM Radio is not really stable. I often get disruptions and statics even if the initial connection is good. Another thing is that you MUST stay at the page otherwise you will get disconnected straightaway. What a pity!

DATACASTS : "Please use Samsung media to download necessary Datacasts files." Duh! Got to steal/beg/pray for some kind hearted soul with Windows XP/Vista to help me since "Sammy" does not know what is MacBook.

PRIME PACK: There are two house residents in it, Text and Voice Recording.

Text reads TXT files so you can easily upload lyrics and play the music at the same time. A good alternative since the player does not have the Display Lyrics function. One useful feature is Add Bookmark so you can bookmark that Significant One page. Text size can be changed from small to large, and you can choose the text colour in five different themes.

Voice Recording is hyper sensitive as you could hear sounds like tapping on the screen. Sound quality remained top notch.

FILE BROWSER : An overview of your files. The only thing you can do here is to add songs to the playlists.

BLUETOOTH : "No device was found!" After umpteen times cajoling both the player and headset, I decided to seek for help from a friend who loves gadgets and is a decent wiz. Still, things stay right back at sq1. Argh!

SETTINGS : Under, Menu Style, there are 3 types of font for you to choose from. Sound Master EQ to further enhance the music quality. I think its cool that Samsung includes system sleep mode. Lol~ No worries of flat battery!

2007-12-27T23:39:00.000+08:00

For those who have been wondering how I managed to snag such a fab christmas gift for myself, log on to http://www.ripplevox.com/ and sign yourself as their member now!

Be part of the exclusive ripplevox community who constantly bring you exclusive deals and exciting stuff!

Ripplevoxers get to try new products, services & attend events before anyone else...

• give feedback that gets heard

• impact the future of products

• change the way brands market to you

Join now and get involved with brands that excite you!

2007-12-19T19:58:00.000+08:00

Santa Claus told me that you are not on his list this year so being a kind hearted babe, I decided to give you something to make up for it!

A special offer for those who are interested in getting themselves the Samsung YP-T10 MP3 player! Isn't it a beauty!

* 8GB (RRP: $349) , 4GB (RRP: $249) and 2GB (RRP:$199)

Just click on the lucky link below to get yourself a great deal this Christmas:
http://apps.vocanic.net/appsSamsungTracker/start?code=759957

Get 15% discount on YP-T10 & $20 off on Bluetooth Stereo Headset (ASBH500) when you present this voucher, courtesy of those lovely guys at Samsung & Ripplevox team.

Offer valid till 31st January 2008!

Be sure to print out the voucher and take it to the Samsung flagship store at VivoCity!

Have a fantastic Christmas!
Hugs & Kisses...

2007-12-09T02:15:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas!!! Hohoho~ Gosh! I know its still days away from The Day but... but... but... I cannot control my overwhelming self especially I just got a fantastic gift! Courtesy of Samsung and Ripplevox, I am now the proud owner of the gorgeous Samsung YP-T10 mp3 player complete with the cool wireless Bluetooth Headset SBH 500. Simply awesome! Since it’s the time for sharing and loving, I am most willing to share ... ... PICTURES of my latest baby! Lol~ Just make sure you don’t drool all over!!!

Sitting pretty in the box! Aww... So nice!

Love the colourful package! Thumbs up!

Lalala~ NO WIRE!!! Hoot! Wireless!

Gosh! I didnt know that the box could contain so much stuff!

In Loving Memory

2007-08-23T04:55:00.001+08:00

In Loving Memory Of Bei Chui

Bei Chui (loosely translated to White Mouth in hokkien) also known as Qi Wan (the seventh among the eleven dogs) had lost his battle to Canine Parvoviral Enteritis on Monday, 20.08.07 at Mount Pleasant.

The illness is a highly contagious disease in dogs that affects their digestive system. He had showed signs of loss of appetite, lethargy, and vomiting on Sunday. But we had assumed that he had caught a fever due to the heavy rain for the past few days.

Alarm bells only rung when we discovered that he had bloody diarrhea (3 times in a row) on Monday afternoon and quickly rushed him to the hospial. He was still bleeding in the lorry and started to have difficulty in breathing. He kept howling in pain and his tongue was sticking out, limp by its mouth.

All we could do is to keep petting him and called out his name softly, while we helplessly watch him suffer. Though we knew his suitation was bad but I had hoped against hope that he might stand a chance in recovering especially the vet had told us that he will not give up without a fight.

But we never thought that after 3 hours, the first call from them would be that Bei Chui had passed away. His body was still warm when I touched him. But Bei Chui's face was cemented in agony. His eyes were wide opened and his mouth was screaming sliently in pain. How could a perfectly healthy young dog a few days ago could left us so suddenly... so soon... too soon...

We buried him at our previous factory where he was born and stayed for the past 2 years. It was the place where he called home. He was laid to rest under a cool and shady spot beside a tree.

As I lighted the joss sticks, I sliently prayed that he will find the peace he never had during his last moments. The flowers spread across his grave will be blooming beautifully for him in the other world. That he had nice food like the roasted duck rice which we have bought.

Sleep well my dear, when you woke up... maybe... you will find me by your side... Hopefully... we will be united when my time has come. Till then, you will always be remember in my heart.

St James Power Hse

2007-04-03T03:34:00.000+08:00

We are at St James Power House!!!

Jeslyn & Karen

Look like sisters, right?
But she is older than moi! (LOTS!)

Sheesh! Karen's handphone is damn good!

So dark yet the pixs are all crystal clear.

Love them! *mUaCkS*

Excuse moi! My face is not that small k!

I lub vodka ribenna!

Finsh de whole jug by myself!

Haha~ Actually i sux @ 5 - 10 lar~

That night, surprisingly she cant drink!!!

Lol~ Actually not feeling well lar!

Show the whole world your RED face!

Heehee~ even when you drink soooo N-O-T-H-I-N-G!

Tired from all the continuous photo-shots.

But NOT them! Camwhores!!!

*** DO - RE - MI***

Love the Girls Night!

Where's my goodnight kiss??? (-_-)"

Mambo Jambo

2007-02-05T06:35:00.000+08:00

Been there, done that... Outcome... Mambo Jumbo!
Lolx~ pardon for the absolute nutty fuckdup & screwup post here.
Don't get me wrong... I am alive, loving my life in fact.
I am feeling fantastic... Awfully~ Beautiful Life!
At this point of time, 5th Febuary 2007, 6.37 am.
Nothing better to do so decided to blog... Whatever.

Firstly, broke up with Edwin and we got back AGAIN!
Yar, looks like I will be stuck with him for this lifetime.
So at least get me that damn rock from tiffany. LOVE!

Been hanging with Jeslyn most of the time...
Yeah, she cannot shop for nuts. Damn!
Lolx~ but I am not complaining,
cause she can drink for nuts! Wheras I end up in the toilet
before I can mutter "Cheers~..."

Love her to bits & pieces minus her fierceness~
She could purr like a lioness who is hungry,
yawn like the tusnami that wants to borrow the pinch
of salt and pepper from the next continent.
Who cares! Lolx~

I paid my fucking handphone bills & that damned NLB fine.
Hopefully can stay as bill-free for as long as possible.
Yeah right, if i can chunck out my useless crap phone
that cannot work properly for its $700 plus worth. Shit Motorola!

Got a call (is it even a call in the first place?)
A guy who did not even had the guts to fucking intro his
"hi-i-am-a-creep-named-dick-tom-or-harry."
Apparently, he accuse me of committing a crime that my boobs
was 34A and that my exxxx had pass my no. to him.

*Roll eyes* How desperate can guys get nowadays?
Hiding behind a private number and trying to act like a pervert,
which in this case does not even had the balls to scare me proper.
All he could fucking squeak "Your boobs is 34A..."
Damn! What a let down!

Like i say, pathetic dudeS! Get your act together!
(wannabe pervert tom-dick-harry & that so called exxxx)
Let jean the babelicious queenie teach you a trick or two to
save your heart wrenching obsolete tweetybird.
1. Take a cold shower.
2. Trust your handy rightman.
3. Call SOS for
- chatline (if you are hideous and prefer hiding)
perfect choice for "wannabe-pervert-tom-dick-or-harry)
- Our famous amous red light district
A line up of chicks for a quick-pick-me-up
especially when you cannot last for long.
4. If all else fails, this prove that your birdie is dead.
So for your own good sake, cut it off!!!

Sheesh~ I wonder do they even have an iota of brain left.

Left or Right?

2007-01-24T03:18:00.000+08:00

Left or Right?
I crave to know,
I need to know,
I know it... Maybe... Just maybe.

Denial? Or avoiding?
Maybe both or maybe neither.

The odds are always against me.
But I manage to hold it till now.
Again, its about me... not you.

I lost something along the way...
that something... before I even met you.

But right now, I need it back... desperately.

So comes back the question...
Left or right?
Fucking idiotic and so is me.

2006-12-27T00:54:00.000+08:00

Ain't It Funny

It seemed to be like the perfect thing for you and me
It's so ironic you're what I had pictured you to be
But there are facts in our lives
We can never change
Just tell me that you understand and you feel the same

This perfect romance that I've created in my mind
I'd live a thousand lives
Each one with you right by my side
But yet we find ourselves in a less than perfect circumstance
And so it seems like we'll never have the chance

Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny
And you can't move on even though you try
Ain't it strange when your feeling things you shouldn't feel
Oh, I wish this could be real

Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life
And you don't want to face what's wrong or right
Ain't it strange how fate can play a part
In the story of your heart

Sometimes I think that a true love can never be
I just believe that somehow it wasn't meant for me
Life can be cruel in a way that I can't explain
And I don't think that I could face it all again

I barely know you but somehow I know what you're about
A deeper love I've found in you
And I no longer doubt
You've touched my heart and it altered every plan I've made
And now I feel that I don't have to be afraid

Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny
And you can't move on even though you try
Ain't it strange when your feeling things you shouldn't feel
Oh, I wish this could be real

Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life
And you don't want to face what's wrong or right
Ain't it strange how fate can play a part
In the story of your heart

I locked away my heart
But you just set it free
Emotions I felt
Held me back from what my life should be

So are we really meant to be together?

Breakaway

2006-12-16T13:29:00.000+08:00

So sick of two persons at Balaclava that I decided to take a break. One of them is well known for his temper and constant sharp remarks. The other is a full time bitch who flares her temper at me whenever i am near her. These idiots are the only defects of what would be a wonderful workplace for me.

Damn! And I got molested during work. That motherfucker groped my boobs. Shitty feeling... real low and sick! I was too shocked to react and he got away from it. Fuck! This sucks to the max. Anyway I decided to take a break... I am so tired...

Unfaithful

2006-12-11T16:14:00.000+08:00

story of my life
searching for the right
but it keeps avoiding me
sorrow in my soul
cause it seems that wrong
really loves my company

hes more than a man
and this is more than love
the reason that this guy is blue
the clouds are rolling in
because i'm gone again
and to him i just can't be true

and i know that he knows i'm unfaithful
and it kills him inside
to know that i am happy with some other guy
i can see him dying

i don't wanna do this anymore
i don't wanna be the reason why
everytime i walk out the door
i see him die a little more inside
i don't wanna hurt him anymore
i don't wanna take away his life
i don't wanna be...
a murderer

i feel it in the air
as i'm doing my hair
preparing for another day
a kiss up on my cheek
he's here reluctantly
as if i'm gonna be out late
i say i won't be long
just hanging with the girls
a lie i didn't have to tell
because we both know
where i'm about to go
and we know it very well

cause i know that he knows i'm unfaithful
and it kills him inside
to know that i am happy with some other guy
i can see him dying

i don't wanna do this anymore
i don't wanna be the reason why
everytime i walk out the door
i see him die a little more inside
i don't wanna hurt him anymore
i don't wanna take away his life
i don't wanna be...
a murderer

his trust
i might as well take a gun and put it to his head
get it over with
i don't wanna do this anymore

i don't wanna do this anymore
i don't wanna be the reason why
everytime i walk out the door
i see him die a little more inside
i don't wanna hurt him anymore
i don't wanna take away his life
i don't wanna be...
a murderer

Vandalize

2006-12-10T15:56:00.000+08:00

My admirer had decided to declare his/her love for me openly. The brilliant idea was to vandalize the lifts with obscene description of my figure punctuated with my name in capitals all over. I wasn't at home when the incident happened.

Of course, my family almost fainted with my newly elevated status. The neighbors were delighted for juicy news to gossip away. I on the other hand found it rather amusing and finally an answer to all my missing heels and slippers. Apparently, this person had a fetish for my shoes.

My sister manages to wash away all those words as it were written with a ballpoint pen. However I could make out a few words here and there, it was written like this: 'Jean Tay, I love (actually, that weirdo draw a heart) you. You have nice body, slim legs, big breasts and sexy. I am a no harm lesbian.'

Duh... no clue at all... I cannot even remember any lesbian that I am close enough to revel my name or address. Anyway, the handwriting is ugly and the downright despicable act is damn lame and cheesy.

Pissed

2006-12-09T11:50:00.000+08:00

Fuming mad... Pissed! In this dog eat dog world, you have to be a smart ass to avoid bullets from nowhere and everywhere. Damn! Why am I always being shot because of some real idiots who could not do their job properly?

When things went wrong, they conveniently pushed their blame on me. Oh well... What to do??? I am your 24 hr toll free pleasant customer service officer who would listen to your endless ramblings of nothing but a load of bullshits. I double as a shooting board for the arrows that were supposed to be aiming for your pea sized brain.

Best of all... I am not even the one in charge, not even paid for these extra service i am throwing in. That asshole went to a holiday without even telling me and expects me to follow up his clients for him. And had the cheek to declare that he need not fill up any leave form because he is not our employee!

For god damn sake, be it freelance or not, you should have the responsibility to inform me before you disappear to wherever i care. Duh! Pea brain! No point trying to justify your actions AFTER you came back.

Cindrella

2006-12-08T10:28:00.000+08:00

Darling was damn bloody late last night. He was supposed to meet me at 5.30pm but I waited till almost 7.00pm. Thank goodness that I bumped into Huda and surfed on her laptop in peace. Edwin will always interrupt me when I used his Mac Book.

We had Xing Ho Chicken Rice followed by tua huay as dessert. Went to The Cathy to catch 'Deja vu'. BUT darling don't want to watch! After he ponder for zillion minutes, he still could not make up his mind so we 'o-ah-pei-ya-som'.

I cannot remember who won... lol! Heck! Who cares? Since I got kicked out the first round. Anyway the show is 9.25pm so we have about an hour to spare. We were wandering aimlessly when Huda was pointing to a store and exclaimed, 'That looks like Billy Bombers!'

Edwin & I were like 'DUH!!! It is what!' lol! So we went in to catch their famous milk shakes. I love their soup of the day! It was absolutely delicious. But that is about it. The milk shakes were too watery, cheese fries being too thick (I don't really bother since I never really like it), seafood pasta... Let's just say that Pasta Mania did a better job.

Alas! Happy times flew by before we knew it, we were late for our show!!! So we decided to catch a later timing at 11.25pm at Cineleisure. Meet Geraldine & Yiwen for a small chat as they were around the vicinity before going for our movie, Cinderella.

All of us felt that it is such a good show! Not just some stupid flick with no brain-er plot. I was crying all the way at the ending. Man! It was that touching even till now I can still remember snippets of the show. The best part of the day... I didn't fork out a single cent except to buy ciggs. Darling footed for all the bills... Cool!

Dollars & Cents

2006-12-07T15:53:00.000+08:00

A mixture of bitterness, resentment, anger but mostly is disappointment. I think both of us are feeling the same way. He perceived me as a materialistic and calculative girl. On the other hand, I do not trust his financial management and his branded mentality.

I have been keeping tabs on our expenditure, even drawing up a journal. 'Darling, let me show you something unbelievable!' I told him one fine day. He was apparently shocked that he could 'owe' me that much of money. I will never forget his I-cannot-believe-you look when I showed him the spreadsheet.

He was apparently dismayed that I even split the Ben & Jerry's bill to two. Each person supposes to pay $5.50. To him, this is just a small sum of money. Yes, it is but if you add up 'these kinds of small sums', it adds up to a hundred. Not forgetting that it is what ONE person should pay.

I also cannot believe my ears when he say that he does not even bother to ask me back for the movie's money back that he had paid. He could not understand how I can be that petty and count right down to the dollars and cents.

Simple. I paid by the hundreds and you paid by the tens. We have agreed to go dutch and the balance is what you owe.

PS: I did deduct whatever you paid for me. Even that $1.20 rose syrup drink.

its simple: deadly simple

2006-11-27T03:32:00.000+08:00

Its simple, real deadly simple. I am making plans way a-h-e-a-d. To establish a connection with you if we are ever separate by thousands of miles. You know me well... very well... but could not fathom my love for you. You have no confidence whether our relationship will ever survive the test of time. Endless doubts rushed into your mind before you could even register them. You might even ponder why am I planning to do all these... blogging (revive my pathetic blog), planning to get a laptop with webcam, trying to work my ass off to save moolahs....

Its simple, real deadly simple. I love you... with my heart.

CNY Spring Cleaning

2006-02-04T07:10:00.000+08:00

Cursing at:
- My digital camera worth at least $1,000 was smashed by bro accidentally.
(Pity that it was not even a yr old)
- The damn kitchen took me longer than a week to clean it up.
- Been left alone to wash up after reunion dinner. Pissed.
- Someone owed NLB $25 in my name.
- Did not get a chance to buy new clothes. Not that I mind that much.

Gloating over:
- A temp job recommended by Edwin's mum.
(Lovely place but the waking up part sucks to the max. Got to be up at 0530 am)
- Dad gave a genourous hong bao!!!
- Enjoyed my CNY visiting. Woohoo! Gamble queen in the making! *lol*

Fuck off

2006-01-17T03:04:00.000+08:00

I am upset and totally pissed off. My loved ones are being constantly preyed by a hideous monster, which took pleasure in tearing their lives apart. This inhuman bimbo thought nothing of others' feelings, the same victims who she claimed as friends. I have known her personally. We were never close but I have always liked her till today.

The words she uttered are laced with poison, shoot off from mouth with intention to kill. Down right despicable act, but she viewed it as a hobby. Digging out secrets is her best forte, shared willingly by people who thought she care. "This is so secondary! (school)", her favorite pet phrase.

The thought of her face filled with haughtiness and ego, make me want to laugh out loud. Even the Ah Lians & Ah Bengs treated their fellow friends with respect. Maybe because she is just a plain ugly fatso that she cannot stay onboard on Friend – SHIP!

Early Twenties Crisis

2006-01-12T05:27:00.000+08:00

Left to rot & decompose. That is how I have treated myself for the past few months after my stint at Wine Network. It seems like I have lose interest in everything. Don't bother to ask why. Because I cannot figured that out.

My life is in shambles. Practically everything. My relationship with my family is not fantastic... well, it had been like that ever since I can remember. Tradition and western do not seem to mix and match well. I can only blame myself. For being a fool, squeezing water outta a rock.

Friends are pissed off. Only a handful are still by my side during my hermit days. If you are hurt and angry, I just want you to know that I am garbage. You did the right thing to dump me away. Life moves on and that you are happy now without me.

Studies are in a total mess. I have not yet decide on how to get my ass outta this issue. For one thing, I failed one module. Skipped two exams. Trying to catch up with another two new modules. One word; Shit.

Seems like my thirst for adventures had somehow gone wrong. Totally off beaten track. I had took granted for many things and lost them all. Been hiding in my own shadow and avoiding reality. Trying to delude myself in the cocoon I have woven for myself.

But all is not lost. I have regained my sense of sanity. Its time to kick my big butt and get things moving. What got to be done, will have to be done. Sooner or latter. It just that I do not seems to possess a sense of punctuality. Hence, I am the latter.

After my gulit- ridden confession, I just want to express my gratitude and heartfelt thanks to the ones who have been with me during my denial days. Dearest Edwin for being the pillar of support, both emotionally and financially.

Jaslyn for everything that she had done for me. Though I had barely known you but the miles you are willing to go out for me, touched my heart. And a few other little angels who brightens up my day whenever they could afford the time. Thank you & God Bless.

So near yet so faraway

2006-01-09T16:43:00.000+08:00

Just like a see-saw. One moment its high up in the air, the next split second an all time low. Sometimes, when things got too intense, I feel like throwing in the towel. Endless questions & doubts will be repeating in my mind, sliently replaying themselves over & over again.

Still, I am hanging on. Trying to make things work, if not better. It is not easy. But love is never easy. Especially when he plays such a major role in my life. If one day, I discovered that he is not by my side... my whole world will come crashing down.

"You can find someone else better...", but does he know that he is the best? The one that I want to be with. Come what may, I will love you until my dying day.

Siti

2006-01-09T03:25:00.000+08:00

Seems like I got my blog up earlier than expected. Feeling good about it! Met up with Siti last night for a short catch up. She bought me a chic bedsheet from Aussino. Would only use it for CNY. Thax babe for that gift! Really like it! I really hoped that your new job would turn out well for you. You deserves it!

I am glad that our friendship is still strong despite that our schedule do not permit us to meet up often. It still amazes me whenever we meet up, that we are able to pick up things from where we left them. Its great to have you as my friend. I just want to let you know that I love you. mUaCk!

Under Construction

2006-01-08T08:49:00.000+08:00

Hi dearest all,

I am still in the process of updating my blog.
It should be ready in a week or so.
Yar, I finally get my blogging mood back.
BTW, I did all the editing by myself!
Muhahaha~ damn proud of myself!
Do drop by again for more updates!

Love,
Jean de mean evil witch...
but i am sweet too! (^^)

Burnt Out

2005-09-28T05:05:00.000+08:00

I am feeling so burnt out! My studies are driving me crazy... so many catching up to be done. Damn! I am still taking cab to work because I just cannot wake up on time. Though work starts like twelve thirty! OMG! i sucks till de max!

Had a bad tummy and decided to go off earlier from class. Stayed overnight at Edwin's house. But I cannot sleep as the room is too hot & with 2 artistic sleepers (Edwin & Geraldine) squashing me.

Went out to the living room to watch scoccer with Fredick. We decided to go to the 24-hr kopitiam to watch the match instead as well as get some coffee. Fredock took dad's bike & we rode there. Cool! Fredick is not a bad rider at all. I do miss riding on bike! Oh yar~ Man u scores 2 - 1 by Ryan giggs & Van Nistroy... RYAN ROX!!!

Future Daughter In Law

2005-09-26T04:59:00.000+08:00

Went for dinner @ Edwin's house, geraldine cooked chilli fried rice with dried shrimp. Went to jim's pub later for the night. Guess what!!! Edwin's dad introduce me as his future daughter- in- law!!! OMG! I was so happy that I cannot stop smiling! It just so happens to be our 3rd month anniversary too. Woohoo!

Stay overnight for the night but we didnt stayed up too late as I still had work the next day. Went for breakfast with darlin and he helped me to pick out the clothes for the day. He had such a flair in fashion! Alas no mascara to complete my gothic- punk look.

BEP's Concert

2005-09-21T02:55:00.000+08:00

Went to de indoor stadium for the BEP's concert with dear... *LOL* His 21st birthday present & my first concert!!! (other den band performances) *omg* You can really feel the crowd's enthusiasm, adrenaline pumping till de max! Who de hack said that Singaporeans are not spontaneous??? That most of them are like sitting ducks other den de crazy fans???

If you have been there, you could see that practically EVERYONE (99%) are all standing up and grooving with the BEP! It was such an entertaining & fantastic concert that my legs are sore from all de dancing along with the jumping up & down! I struggled to walk in my 4 inches high heels... Barely making it alive to home. *lol* Poor darling, he had to become my "walking stick" & tolerate my (almost???) endless whinnings... Dotz! (-_-)"... Paiseh!

The BEP are all fantastic performers! Drawing not only the crowd to them and even had everyone to use their handphones to double as light among the people. It was such a beautiful sight! They are supportive of WORLD PEACE & encourage everyone to live in harmony. Wow!!! I really respect them for being so proactive in their belief & use their name to do good deeds!

After tonight concert, I left happily with a BEP T-shirt and a huge hole in my pocket. But I am really glad that I went to the concert. And I will be going to their concert if they ever come! Till den, *turn on de radio, blast de stero...ooo~* Hee~

First Full Time Job

2005-09-15T08:01:00.000+08:00

Went for an interview on monday @ wine network. Met the managing director, Thomas & his daughter Belinda. Both are really warm and friendly people! Like them a lot!
The environment is a cosy barn with wines covering the entire walls. (Not all but almost... very very close)

I got employed on a part time basis first as an admin & operation executive. Because it is a small company, I have to multi task a lot. Even required to serve the customer if there is a short of staff. *lol* but my knowledge of wine is limited, and I mean really really limited.

But that is not my "main" worry... they required me to double up as a cashier. That will be a real worry! Bc I simply had no idea how those damn machine works!Dotz~ *cross fingers* hope it will be easy...

On wed is my first day of work! *lol* took cab again because almost running late! It was a breeze working there. Everything is easy to handle. I am looking forward for more task in time to come.

If anyone of you fancy a part time job as waiter/waitress, give me a ring! Or simply pop down and join me for a drink or two! *lol* Got staff discount... or I can process membership for you free! (^^)

Alive: Kicking This Blog Alive.

2005-09-11T03:58:00.000+08:00

Found lots of dead corpses with spider webs to boot! Sorry guys, for being forced to wait for such a long time for my blog to be updated. Its not that I am lazy, nope... all of you have under- estimate me! I am seriously dead lazy! *LOL*

Honestly, I am really busy for the past month. Been tied up initially by my exams. Imagine your 21st birthday and you had to bulldoze your way out of a 3 hr paper. Damn! That really sucks to the ultimate! *Bleah* After which, I got involved with the "Initial Step Project", along with Siti & Xingru. It had been an arduous journey, fraught with difficulties and tight datelines. Thinking back, I really had no idea how we managed to survive...

But I will remember the heart warming scenes of how different volunteers from SPSU, SPSC & NPSU lent us not only a hand but lots of their time & energy to help us make the project a success. They ROX!!!Actually got lots of stuff to update but cannot remember so many stuff in details lar... haha~ So I shall skip all the past enteries lar!

Today ---> Wow!!! Kasper is finally ours to keep! *Wheeee!!!* I am so happy that we can have kasper and not let de f****** toots to put him to sleep. He is big... omg! but such a gentleman! *LOL* Can you guys believe that Champagne is the rascal??? He kept growling & even bark at kasper, which is like 3 times his size!

Actually we (Edwin and I) planned to go sun tan with darni and sari @ sentosa... but due to some changes, we didnt go. Instead we ended up @ Sembawang beach with Edwin's dad & gere, plus 3 dogs! Isn't that cool!!! wahahah~ think we can form a club "MUST LOVE DOGS" (Sorry, Siti! This club definitely not for yar!)Cannot wait for dear dear's family to move back to Hillview! Then we will have lots more opportunity to bring the dogs out! Yeah!!!

First Month Anniversary

2005-07-25T08:02:00.000+08:00

Yea~ *First Month Aniversary" Darlin remember wor!!! (^^) Initially planned to go swimming but de weather is so gloomy! Dotz~ so spoiler! den darlin say he tired so went to his hm instead. At first, only he is at hm but later turned out that a BIG group came. Wah~ his relatives come for gathering & had majong while I go lala land. *lol* den i sulky lor~ everytime so zombie with me! Now free also never pei wor! humph!!! but later dardar pacify me... keke~ I asked him "What will it be like for us eight years down de road?" He replied that we will be having our second kid... (-_-)"... I am like a big baby lor~ den stil must have 2 kids?!? *lol* dardar take care 3 of us lar~ wahaha~ Tnk he stress le! Hmm... I really really really want to do de Changi stuff! So dardar, we shall work towards that goal wor! OK! (^^)

Make Over

2005-07-23T18:25:00.000+08:00

Had de second dinner with darlin's family minus fredrick *lol*
it was another enjoyable gathering with friendly ppl to boot.
Bump into danny @ sun plaza... finally recalled who he is!
Hope that I can get to help out in de camp activities! *rocks*

Had a whale of time with darlin! I hate to leave for home!!!
He done my make- up with his stage cosmetics.
Girl (edwin's sis) gave the thumbs up...
In my opinion, it deserves 2 thumbs up! *lol*

Darlin really got the makings of a stylist!
He even straighten my hair patiently... WOW!
I was given de princess treatment! (^^)
Really feel like it was a make- over... Love it to bits & pieces!

Learn dancing from darlin & girl also join us later.
Just by watching him doing all de moves is breath- taking!
I was like omg... Can I really do it?
But he encourage me & never lose his temper at all.

I am a slow learner... Tat meant he had to teach slowly.
Re- playing de moves & music over & over...
Hope we can all dance together perfectly!
Well... Practise makes perfect!

The Dinner

2005-07-18T17:11:00.000+08:00

Meet up with nihui @ coffeebean. *lol* had not been meeting her. bet she is cursing me because nowadays been sneezing like mad. bump into zhiwei & his gf den we talk rot for a while. hmm... they are doing the talking, i am reading newspaper. looking for other jobs... *lol* going to be fired soon by mummy.

Edwin's dad invited me over for dinner. *first* "family" gathering minus fredrick who is not there* His dad whipped out several dishes - homemade chilli with deep fried fish, minced meat with ginger, kang kong with chilli & fish cake.

Initially, de fragrant smells from de kitchen almost killed all of us except edwin's mum who had not reach home yet. De chilles are so powerful & strong that all of us are choking from it. yar~ including the cook who is not spared from the spices.

But den~ SuRpRiSe! SuRpRiSe! SuRpRiSe! I managed to handle de spicyness. Tnk de cooking smells is more deadly den the food itself. *YummY!* Would love to try uncle's cooking again soon! (^^) *lol* no more ta - bao lor!

It was such a fun & nice dinner that it sharply reminded me that the last time my family had eaten together is like on daddy's birthday. *dotz.... (-_-)"* missing those wonderful times... hmm... but mummy had mentioned that on my birthday, she will treat whole family to a lobster feast! *pray my birthday cum soon soon!*

*lol* i had a new haircut too by dardar. haha~ tnk he is so stress den me lar! except a few near threatening deaths suitation eg. scissors poking my back... etc other den tat i am totally pleased with my new image! hee~ got time will upload pixs! i am a sucker for laziness... (^^)

My mistake, His Pain

2005-07-11T15:50:00.000+08:00

An invisible wall was built between us.
Brick by brick, it threaten to separate us.
Built by my insensitive, cement with my foolishness.
Concrete him to unnecessary pain and worry.

Suffering in silence, he did not even blame me.
Instead he puts on a brave front and hides his fear.
Cowering in fright that our ways will part soon.
He could only pray feverishly.

"I am sorry, my dear"
It is never my intention to put you through this.
The burden should not exist in the first place.
You need not shoulder it any longer.

Edwin, The Angel, My Angel

2005-07-04T02:12:00.000+08:00

Angel, He appeared nowhere beside me
Words he whispered ever so gently
'Fear no more, for I shall be with you'

In a dream, I must be or so I thought
Too long, darkness had enveloped me
Abandoned by love, forsake by trust

I sold my soul to the devil
In the hope that I will find happiness
Thrown into hell, I was damned

I lost my mind and ultimately my heart
Living only in an empty shell
A puppet I have become

I hestitated at the cross road
Should I stay in my living hell?
Or leave to search for a better place?

Memories of the past kept haunting me
Chilled to the bones are the images of being alone
Left waiting, sitting on the window

A single of light shines so distantly
He is waiting patiently at the other end
All the while, silently guarding my lost soul

"Call my name, and I will be with you"
"My name is Edwin"
He slipped a ring into my finger to seal his promise

Tarot Cards

2005-06-28T14:18:00.000+08:00

Ask not the mystery behind,
Seek not the secret held,
For answers will be fiercy guarded.
Decisions shall be make by thou,
not the stars that guide the lost.

Snowitch loves winter but she no longer can tolerate de harsh conditions.

2005-06-26T17:46:00.000+08:00

a decision that was taken must be kept.
cut like a razor
bleed like a river
cut can heal
bleed will dry

winter is an icy cold season
but it is not without emotions
it may still hurtlike any other
it may still cry like a baby
but it will close up further
after this season has passed.

"farewell winter, welcome the spring" said the snowitch.
"i have found the warmess of another, the spring!"

"farewell angel, goodbye sunshine" said the winter.
"Thank you for accompany me through this season and this very 4 mths"

luv
winter

Posted by: winters June 24, 2005 01:59 AM

Softly, snowitch whisper to the fading winter:

"snowitch loves winter"

"but she no longer can tolerate de harsh conditions."

i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
'cause your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
i held your hand through all of these years
but you still have
all of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating life
now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts
my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away
all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
i've been alone all along

He loves me for who I am... and that's all it matters.

2005-06-23T17:20:00.000+08:00

"You don't have to smile if you don't want to."
So simple are the words, yet the one who utter is him.
With these words, he opens the dead lock in my heart.

His presense warmths the surrounding.
His touch offers understanding.
His eyes, yes... its his eyes that capativate me most of all.

His eyes spoke of love...
Each time, I look into his eyes.
They will always say "I will be here for you, no matter what."

If I were to fall, he will be there to catch me.
If I am scared, he will be there to be with me.
If I lost my sight on him, there is no need to fear.
For I am sure he will be somewhere near me.

The Innocent & Adorable Stray Puppy

2005-06-21T17:21:00.000+08:00

Discovered a stray puppy on my way home. Crowds of people gathered around. Aroused by curiosity, I approached it too. It was an energetic & lively little pup. Entertaining itself by rolling about the grass patch. I was like "Awww~ so cute!"

After about twenty minutes, and a phone call to SPCA (They told us to send the puppy to the police.) plus potentially dangerous factors like cyclists zooming around like they own the pavements & the busy road being just a stone throw away, I decided to bring the stray home.

Initially, I dared not even hold the puppy. But it was so tame & did not struggle when the stranger (Really grateful to him!) bought it to my home. He even managed to pass me a few quick tips like "Use newspaper & hit it if it gets too naughty! Dont be too soft hearted else you will regret!Good Luck, huh!"

My family members were excited but the deal was that the puppy will be under my full responsiblity. I rushed to the nearest 7-11 store to get some food for it & quickly called Edwin for advice. *LOL* Thank God that I got him to seek for emergency help!

Edwin is just like a helpline "Dummies for first time pet owner" wahaha~ he patiently answer my 101 qns & even give me useful tips to take care of the puppy. My parents were debating whether it is a boy or girl. And I simply ignored them but they kept trying to solict for my vote.
But being inexperienced, I sent an mms to Edwin & he was like "hmm... picture not clear lei". And he gave detailed description before announcing "Its a male!" But mum INSIST its a female!